If I had the chance to get 5 more minutes of your time, I know just what I’d say. I’d tell you how much I love you and how not a single day passes that I’m not missing you, but I wouldn’t want you to come back to live with sickness and pain. I’d tell you how glad I am that you’re finally healed and whole. I’d tell you I love you. I’d tell you how I was never angry or frustrated with you, but the effects your illness was having on your body and mind. How it broke my heart to watch my mom slowly being robbed from me by an illness she didn’t deserve. I’d tell you I love you. I’d tell you how I needed to control your doctors visits and medications so that I felt like I was helping you be with me longer. Controlling an illness for which there was no cure. I’d tell you I don’t regret one minute spent in the hospital, doctor’s office, or one mile driven from appointment to appointment. I’d tell you I love you. I’d tell you I hope one day I can be half the woman you were. I’d tell you your animals are doing fine. I’d tell you I talk to you all the time. I’d tell you I’d give anything to go get a snow-cone with you. I’d tell you I miss you so much it physically hurts. I’d tell you I love you, and then I’d say goodnight because we never did goodbyes.

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